Not sure if I should be writing about this because not sure I want anything thinking any less of me than you already do (which really should not be hard when I really think about it.) BUT, we are staying at The Palms ( beautiful suites BTW). Now, it just so HAPPENS that The Palms has the only Playboy Bunny Club in the nation and it also just so happens my husband made the reservation to stay at this hotel. Hmmmm is this just purely coincidence or should I by into his story that this hotel had the best rooms for the cheapest price? All I know is that when I pick a hotel I have never picked one that had the words Bunny, Bambi or Thumper in it nor have the rooms had sofas so slick than when you sit on them you slide to the other end. But I regress.
So we decide to head up to the Playboy Club with some friends (but in my husbands defense we only went there because he was given the tickets for free for booking said room...hmmmmm) Well, first of all there was no place to sit down unless you "purchased" a table and spent a lot of money on booze. Strike one.
The drinks were horribly expensive, there were only five Bunnies, and the ratio of past-their-prime men to men-who-might-get lucky was astronomical. My chances of striking it rich on a lottery ticket were looking mighty good in comparison. Strike two.
The Bunnies just stood around talking to themselves and were actually quite rude to the over-the-hill group. But in truth they didn't just single out that group they were rude to just about anyone who dared to interrupt their Bunny Chatter. They posed with the nice guys who just wanted a picture to remember their Wild Night In Las Vegas so when they were 90 and drooling on themselves they could think about The Good Old Days. And after every pose they had a look on their face like they deserved hazard pay. They were the kind of girls that expected men to be so dazzled by their beauty and thought they were so special that the only men they would talk to were the ones with big diamonds on their fingers. You know the kind...think back to high school.
So we stayed about 20 minutes and right before we were going to leave I asked a Bunny if she would pose for a picture with my MAN (I mean every man needs proof if only in his dreams that he has been to the Playboy Club once in his life (and believe me he will ONLY be there once! LOL!) So she gets this tight look on her face kind of like she is ready to rip a big one and is trying to hold it in. I snap the picture and she steps back with "the look" which made me get out mine. "Listen here, _____, " I am thinking in my head. "My man is HOT and you had better treat him that way. Twenty four years of marriage and five kids later he is still the sexiest thing in the room. Who do you think you are? I should just tear your scrawny ass bunny ears off of the top of your head and rip the tail off your hinnie. You didn't know it but you were standing right next to the dictionary definition of a GREAT MAN AND HUSBAND. He's a man who has sacrificed for his family on a daily basis. He's been a leader for our kids activities and has inspired all of us to do better ( which is why I am not beating your bad-ass-Bunny ass right this moment). He has helped those in need and has been a coach cheering the last-kid-picked onto victory. You don't know it but you were just standing next to a gem...a 24 carat gold upstanding man. And that, my dear, is why your and your nest of rabbits, are now, and will forever be, referred to as nothing more than DUMB BUNNIES!
