And We Question Where High Blood Pressure Comes From

I had to call Kylee on the telephone today to talk to her. Of course she had to bring up the fact that she would not be living in the dorms at college. The conversation went kind of like this.

She: "Okay I didn't want to tell you this way but I can't live in the
dorms because R is coming to the United States. We plan to get married after I graduate from high school"

Me...thinking to myself....THE HELL YOU ARE
Me...thinking to myself (in a very sterotypical fashion I might add)...Thank goodness he is from South America and a machismo culture where he will most likely forget about her the minute she leaves.
Me...thinking to myself...THE HELL YOU ARE

Me to her: "Well honey that is going to be difficult. I doubt the
United States will let him in."

She: " I have been investigating it. We will be married. He can come on a fiance visa."

Me...thinking...thank GOD the US is cracking down on immigration at least in this case. I just might have to become a Republican.

Me to Her: I doubt that the US will let R in because 1. You are not
educated and cannot support him 2. He is not educated and cannot
support himself 3. He is in a band (okaY i did not say it but I did
think it) 4. He doesn't have lots of money to come here with.
Therefore due to #1, 2, and 4 it is doubtful he can come here."

Me...thinking ....thank goodness for the Patriot Act. Here is one case where it just might come in handy.

She: "I am in a bad mood and don't want to talk anymore."

Me...thinking...don't even ask us to sponsor R. EVER. (which she does a day later)

Me...thinking...why do we have girls anyway?

Me...thinking...I was ripped off during the in vitro process when I
told the doctor that he was to eliminate teenage attitude and the
problems associated with it.

Me...thinking again in sterotypical fashion for which I beg forgiveness...thank goodness he lives in a machismo country and will probably forget her within 10 minutes of her getting on the
plane.

Me...thinking...Now I know why some animals eat their young. It is so much easier than raising them!

Bound for Brazil

My 16 yo daughter has been a hand full since she has hit the teen years. It is hard because we have raised her to take risks, to believe in herself, to be independent, to know that she can accomplish what she sets out to do. We have taught her to trust herself, to go after her dreams and to not be afraid to step outside of the box that we call home. Somehow when you raise a child that way it seems that when they reach teen status they move away from you quicker, dislike you more, and in general cannot wait until they are out of the house far, far away from you. And of course, there are days that you cannot wait until the back door hits them in the butt on their way out too. But really as exciting and scary as it all is, we have raised our daughter to be able to take on us as well as the world. Although it is difficult for us now we know that when she is an adult we will be glad she has grown into who she is and who she is truly meant to be. But right now, who she is, is a girl who wants to spend her junior year of high school as a foreign exchange student in Brazil.

I have always been impressed with people who have been willing to leave everything they know to try to learn more about another country and her people.You have to dig deep within yourself to face the unknown with a smile. Yet, I have a confession to make. As proud as I am of my daughter for even contemplating such an opportunity; there is the part of me that wants to hold her back. A part of me that wants to say "No way, you are too young." A part of me that wants to scare her and a part of me that wants to dare her. I feel conflicted, confused and frankly, there is a part of me that is afraid. I am afraid of losing her, missing her, afraid that we are getting too close to an age where our family will no longer be important to her. Sure she knows all my faults and points them out to me everyday. But I want her around to keep me honest, to show me new ways of looking at things and to just have the comfort in knowing she is right here with us forever.I love her and want to keep her near. And if the truth is told, today I am not sure that I want to hold open the door for her. Not just yet. Really, I want her to explore the world next to the safety of my feet like when she was a baby. I want her to once again ask the simple questions like "Why is the sky blue?" And I want to know she is upstairs in her bed; snug, safe and warm. I want her to explore our world, not one thousands of miles away. Yet I know that's not love. Love is more than keeping someone close. Love is more than halting another person's growth to keep ourselves feeling useful and alive. Love is really about two people gently leading each other onto themselves. It's knowing when to let go so they can discover who they are on their own. It is about being confident enough in your love for one another that you know that holding on is more detrimental than letting go.

So although I may not always like it I know that I have to hold that door wide open for Kylee. Afterall, we taught her to go through that door in the first place and to embrace whatever she found on the other side. And although she will not know it, I will hold that door open wide, as I hide my tears and hold in my fears. For it seems like it was only yesterday that I held the door so she could get in as she stood on her tiptoes trying to reach the latch. I guess I didn't realize then that the time would come so quickly for her to step outside on her own. And although I may be tempted, I promise I will not let the door hit her on the butt as she makes her way out. However, I might just hide her keys so she can't go anywhere.