Two Tales of the Traveling Pants

So I have been asking what to wear in Ethiopia and several people have told me (I thought) to bring parachute pants. This evening I started the great search for said pants and was snickered at, not once, but twice at two different stores.When I told the young thing in the clothing department what I was after, she looked at me and rolled her eyes and said, and I quote: "parachute pants were popular in the 80's along with Mike Hammer (insert snicker) I think if you want some of those you will have to go to a retro store."

Second sales girl says to me, " EWWWWW. That would be the fashion mistake of the 20th century...you can't be serious...har, har, har (trumpting like an elephant)

So I am left to ponder whether it is impossible to buy parachute pants except in MO or if this is a "Let's See What A Dork Cheryl Is" kind of practical joke which sounds like something the Bimbo from MO would do to get back at me for some unknown reason!

The SAGA CONTINUES

The next day I find I am mistaken. It is cargo pants I am SUPPOSE to be after. But here is the catch... cargo pants on Fat chics are no laughing matter. I learned this today as I tried on clothes for the trip to Ethiopia at the store. The trouble with cargo pants is they carry/hold EVERYTHING but your own fat. I mean, come on folks, there are no zippers to zip all the fat in place! These things are not meant to be decent pieces of clothing. They are a form of torture for you and anyone who has to look at you while you are wearing them! The worse thing is that I am buying them to leave in Africa when I return home. But, of course, there is one little problem... I will be the only FAT person on the entire continent!The only consulation I have is that if a seamstress gets hold of these she will be able to make two or three pairs of pants out of them. Nothing like cargo pants to depress the hell out of you!

BTW, if God was a fashion designer he surely created cargo pants as a tribute to Mr. Blackwell. And no I won't put up a photo...that would just be cruel to humanity.