A Dinner COnversation

"What happened to Uncle John," asks KA.

"He went to heaven," said Dave.

"It is scientifically impossible for a man to survive in clouds without falling down, " said KA. "I mean a person weighs more than 100 pounds so they couldn't be sitting on clouds."

Dave: "Well, it isn't the body that is up in the clouds it is the spirit. When you die you lose your body which frees your spirit."

"So are all those spirits dodging airplanes up there?," asks KA.

"Spirits are higher than the airplanes," replies Dave.

"So they are dodging all the satellites and space junk?" the young one says.

"No" Dave Replies

"Why not, Dad" says KE

"They don't have to," says the Dad.

THe conversation then steers to the Old Testament vs. The New Testament.

"The Old Testmant is B.C. and the New Testament is A.D," I state.

"Oh, so you mean A.D. is AFTER DINOSAURS and B.C. is BEFORE CAVEMEN," concludes KA.

Been so bad about blogging so here are a few ditties

 Me: Do you want to go outside and look at the stars
Him (who shall remain unnamed) No. But if you want you can watch me pee. It kindof looks like stars are shooting out of there!

 From my friend Carla...love this
"You can safely assume that you've created G-d in your own image when it turns out that G-d hates all the same people you do."

As you can tell we had a fluent conversation day yesterday.
KA introducing his sister to a boy " This is my sister KE. She is a drama queen!"

Also:
"Am I being too quiet?"
"No"
"Don't you want to hear my beautiful voice?"

Yesterday on the condition of Kylee's apartment
KU "It looks like a pig style in here almost like a tormato came through here!"

 Yesterday:
KU "I want to know how babies are made!"
Amy the tutor "That is something you learn about when you are older."
KU "Never mind I will just Google it."

 Someone around here ate an autism sandwich for breakfast!

 My "Being Bothered About Stupid Shit" in box is full. Please do not try to fill the box with more STUPID SHIT until the box has been emptied and refurbished sometime in 2040.

 ‎"Mom your conscience is going to die if you don't start listening to it"- KU .This in response to my putting a jelly bean in my mouth while on a diet. Believe me I have the diet gestapo on my butt around here.

Conversations All Night Long

KA is getting frustrated because I am making him re-do a part of his homework
Ka: Are you trying to make me crack because I swear my shell is breaking! I telling you I am about to lose my temper....here it comes....ready or not...now I am going to explode!


God and Santa

Tonight we went out to Denny's for dinner. Here is the conversation:

KU: Does Santa die?

Me (thinking oh,crap how do I answer this. Okay a simple NO should suffice) NO

KU:I guess God knows if Santa dies it would make all the children sad.

KA: So does Santa believe in God?

Me: (Oh man not another one of these questions...go for the short but sweet answer) YES

KA: I think that is why God gives Santa the gift of eternal life because he believes!

Me: Where did you hear about eternal life?

KA: God told me

STOP THAT KA
For about the past month KA has been bringing his foot up behind him and slapping it with his hand. Today I told him he needed to stop doing that.

Ka: Are you trying, in a really sly mom way, to tell me not to do that in public. That's what you really mean isn't it!
Me: Well, yes I am. When you do things like that they become habits that you do even when you aren't thinking about doing it. So if you do it at home you will probably do it in public because it has become a habit.
Ka: So you are telling me you don't want it to become a homelic problem. That's like a public problem except it happens at home.I'm pretty clever, aren't I mom!

An Autograph By God

In the car with Ka today.

KA: I can hardly wait to get God's autograph.
ME: Where will you get that, honey?
KA: In Heaven
ME: So what do you think he/she would write?
KA: GOD, creator of all earth.