I can't believe I am writing about ice cream

It started innocently enough. I went shopping today attempting to
find some food that my boys could eat. In case I haven't mentioned it my boys are allergic to just about everything. I kid you not. You won't find peanut butter in this house. Nor will you find any corn or corn products (corn syrup or cornstarch which 99% of foods contain) You won't find wheat, soy, rye, barley, oats, or buckwheat. You won't find cashews, pine nuts, hazelnuts, walnuts, pecans or sunflower seeds. The only nuts you will find is us!!!
You also won't find bananas, strawberries, peas, green beans, carrots, shrimp, coconut and many other assorted foods. Needless to say shopping in a typical food store is fairly inexpensive because THERE IS NOTHING TO BUY!

Luckily for me, but not for my waistline the boys can have dairy. Well, today I went over to the ice cream section and in that section there is Breyers Natural Ice Cream. Breyers makes a couple of flavors my boys can eat that don't contain soy
or corn syrup. Peach is one, chocolate is another. Vanilla is out as Karson is allergic to vanilla...how can you be allergic to vanilla???? Well today they had chocolate but now I am in a big quandry because they are having an irresistable sale...it's the old BUY ONE GET ONE FREE gimmick that was designed just for shmucks like me. Needless to say, I can't just get one when they are $5.99 for
one and $5.99 for two...can I? I mean who in their right mind would. (I knew you would support me on this one!)

So what do I pick out...a new flavor for Dave and Kylee...Fried Ice
Cream. I am NOT going to eat any until Dave says, "Just take one bite you
will love this stuff." That should have stopped me right there!!! I mean who can take just one bite of ice cream especially when someone is touting its virtues? Not me...I have NO willpower. I know it is suppose to be located on Chromosome 19 but I swear I am lacking that gene. Someday when genetic studies are cheap and common place I will finally have the proof I need.

Anyway, I swear this is the best ice cream flavor on the face of the earth. Oh
my goodness, I want to attack anyone who goes near it so here I sit
at 11:46 p.m. sneaking a small 1/2 scoop and I really want to down
the whole container. Don't go near this stuff...It is way too good.

Jumping Inside My Head

There are times that I wonder what it would be like to jump into my boys heads. I mean both have autism and I wonder...do they think like me? If not, what thoughts are running through their brains that are not running through mine? Do they look at me and wonder these things too?

You know, lately I have been following the story of Baby James. A 1.5 year old who was adopted from Korea and within 5 weeks of being home his parents found out he had cancer. A particular form that is very aggressive. And I think, I don't know how they do it. And I wonder if I would have the courage that it takes to do it day in and day out when the news is never very positive. I wonder if I would just give up and let someone else take on the day. And then it strikes me that I wonder how many people feel that way about my life? The one I am happy with. The one that is chaotic and stressful and the one in which the outcome of all this mothering remains hazy. And it dawns on me that many people would say they couldn't do it. And the truth of the matter is that most of us can live our own lives because they are what we are used to but cringe at the thought of living another. Because there is comfort in the familiar and satisfaction in the knowledge that what we have created somehow fits us in ways that we might have been unprepared for but in fact is what we need. And so when I wonder if I could do it I try to remember that I already am for someone else could not fill my shoes in the perfect way my own feet do.