Friday, October 23, 2009

The New Buddha

Last night I walk into the kitchen and find KU sitting on a small blanket, legs folded with his hands open and on his legs with the Bible sitting in front of him. "What are you doing?," I ask. "I am finding my peace," is his reply. What the heck...where did that come from?

Friday, October 16, 2009

THe Genius

KA: Mom, Why did GOd make me autistic?
Me: I don't think God does things like that. Things just happen.
KA: I guess that is why God made me a genius in order to compensate.
Me: Honey, you aren't a genius.
KA: Okay, brillant. God made me brillant
Me: Yes you are honey. Yes you are.

That Was Close...The Dreaded Sex Talk

KU: Mom what do people do to like each other?
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
KU: What do people do who like each other?
Me: Well, when you like someone you look them in the eye and ask them questions about themselves.
KU: That is not what I mean
Me: I don't understand the question, KU.
KU: How do people who like each other have a baby?
Me: (Oh Holy cr**. How do I answer that? If I tell him the truth then I know he will draw an anatomically correct cartoon and show every kid on the playground tomorrow)
KU: So how do the blue and red wires come together in your body?
Me: Huh? (I must be getting dumber by the second because I have no clue how to answer this question! What does he know that I don't?)
KU: You know the red and blue wires in your body?
Me: Oh ( I knew he was an alien....he just blew his cover. Wait a minute...thinking back to the blood work that was drawn earlier in the week) Do you mean the arteries and veins in your body?
KU: Yeah. Those. How do they make a baby?
Me: Why do you ask?
KU: Well I like babies.
Me: First of all it takes a man and a woman who have to be over 25 and really, really like each other enough to get married (please, Father, forgive me because I have lied but its only because I didn't have time to prepare. I mean really THAT one really came out of left field. Now how to I reconcile this with adoption? Oh Geez man have I blown that one!)
KU: Never mind mom I know the rest, he says as he is leaving the room
Me: (Oh cr** what does that mean? Should I go find out? Naw....I'll let Dave tackle it when he gets home. Maybe by then KU will have forgotten this entire can only hope!)

My husband comes home and says I handled the whole situation wrong. He said I should have told KU that you use a wirenut to wire the two wires together and that they then create electricity which creates a baby. Silly me!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Homework Time

Viewing KA's homework with him. One paper everything is wrong. I ask him what happened as he usually gets all his math correct. He looks at me and says "Did you help me with this one?"

Allie and Jenni are making arrays with coins. THere are 12 coins. Allie makes a 3x4 array and Jenni makes a 6x2 array. Explain why both students are correct.
KA: Mom, do you think you understand this or should I get KU (my younger brother) to check my work?

I am having KA do an extra page of math. KA: My teacher will kill me if I do extra. Me: I don't think she will kill you. KA: Yes she will kill me. Me: KA, I will ask her tomorrow if she will kill you for doing extra work. KA: Mark my words she is going to kill me for it and it will be your fault.