MeltDown Doesn't Mean a Grilled Cheese

Three meltdowns in three weeks at school...another today. Trying to manipulate and control....KA no longer has any books in his room and will eat a PB&J for dinner and will have to earn his books back. He has been sitting in the car for 1/2 hour because he refuses to come in. Should I take him a pillow and blanket? UUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sticky Sleeping

“When I was sleeping I forgot to chew,” was the explanation KA gives when he woke up with gum throughout his hair and all over the bed. Like an old horse, he must have rolled in it.I guess we will be going to the barber later today after hacking hunks of hair off his head this morning.

19 minutes ago ·  ·  · Comment

Ghandi He Is Not

So sitting around the dinner table we began to discuss KA  Mission project that is due next week. His is the architecturally complex one. I am looking at this monstrosity of a looming project and had an idea.

"KA, I think you should refuse to do a mission as a protest. Why does the state continue to glorify a history of missions that were built through slavery,coercion, and death of the native peoples of the area? Really. I mean it was a horrid time in history. I say you just write a paper about the atrocities suffered rather than glorify a building that is the symbol of human suffering."

"Because mom, I don't think I will get extra credit if I do it your way."

So much for teaching about standing up for what is wrong. Oppression 101-FAIL!!!! Ghandi he is not!

I Think I Will Saw Off My Head With A Butter Knife

All this in a 24 hour period

So we are on the way to social skills group this morning (not for me I might add!) when out of the blue KU asks, "Why don't you homeschool mom?"

Me: "Well, son why do you think I don't home school?"

KU: "You aren't smart enough?"

Me: " Thanks son."

Later I told him it was because I don't have the patience that a teacher has and when you teach someone you have to have a lot of patience.

Five minutes later I get this.

KA arrives at social skills group and tells me he wants his zuzu pet that is in the car. As we are walking out he says, "THere is one problem it has something wrong with the batteries."

Me: "That's okay, KA you can just push it along with your hands."

KA: "That's what they did in the older days when you were a kid. They didn't have moving parts back then.

So in a space of seven minutes I have gone from feeling young and hip (as much as someone pushing 50 can) to feeling old and stupid. Thanks boys!

THe Next DAY

In the store looking for Mommie clothes size L. I pick something up to look at it and say, " This looks a little small." KE replies, " So do you need a size HUGE?"

 Thanks daughter.

 Now in one 24 hour period I am really old, stupid and HUGE according to my kids. I think I will take a dull knife to myself so I can prolong the pain and agony!

The Love Dove

Today at church Pastor Stephanie was talking about when Jesus was baptized by John and the dove appeared. So KA in his infinite wisdom said, "So that was the love dove, right?!"

The Tutor and I Were Mind F***** By A Nine Year Old

So today I was called to school because K was acting up and out. He kept calling out for this stuffed dog, snuggles. OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Even kicked his aide which has never happened before. So I went to school armed with cleaning products (natural of course) and a trash bag for picking up leaves to add to my compost pit. Seems this all started because A) I caught KA trying to take his dinosaur book to school and removed it from his backpack B) seems I forgot to give him his medicine. Score two for the Loser Mom of the Year award. So KA is cleaning the tables in the cafeteria and it turns out he is having a great old time and would much rather be doing that than to be in class. Project CLean THe School backfired on me. Hmmmmmm, I have to think of something new to stay one step ahead of him. 

So today when he gets home he is still out of sorts and totally misbehaving. Finally, I told him that since he could only talk about snuggles that I would be taking Snuggles and keeping him with me and that if he did a good job at school tomorrow he could have him back; which I might add he went with quite readily which surprised me. So about an hour later his tutor, Amy, is asking him to write down three things he could have done differently at school regarding the SNUGGLES EPISODE. He tells her "Who is Snuggles?" and just starts screwing with her. "I don't know a Snuggles?" "Who is Snuggles again?" "I don't know any snuggles" at which point I mistakenly decide to call  his bluff and up the ante. So the next time he says he doesn't know who Snuggles is I say, "Well, since you don't know him I guess it won't matter to you if I take him out to the fire pit and burn him up" to which KA replies "I"ll get the marshmallows!!!!!!!!!!!!" Amy and I look at him dumbfounded. What this is his best friend and he wants to roast him right along with the somores?!!!!!!!!!!

So I try again impressing upon the fact that Snuggles is going to be a heap of ashes when he is done in the fire pit and Karson's response is bring on the marshmallows. Now I am caught between a rock and a hard place and I have put my own self there!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHH! How can I do this to myself????? When will I ever learn???????????? But I now have no choice but to march Snuggles out to a fiery demise. So up the stairs I climb like a soldier leading a prisoner to the guillotine. And as I hold the doomed dog in my hands looking at Amy with a 'please help me get out of this mess' kind of look; down the stairs comes KU with tears in his eyes. "You can't burn Snuggles up, you just can't" and the floodgates let loose. "KA loves Snuggles and Snuggles has been a loyal friend."..,..saved by an eight year old.  "You are right Kullen and since KA doesn't care about Snuggles anymore and you have spared his life he is now yours." (Thank you KU. Bless your kind compassionate soul 1000 times over)

To which KA says "Shucks no marshmallows!"

Which means I will not sleep all night as I try to figure this whole situation out and how I should or should not handle future situations because it is obvious I am being mind f----- by a nine year old and I don't know what to do about it.

Poems by KA ( Yes, I am a proud momma!)

Someone in this family ate an autism sandwich for breakfast yesterday as well as one this morning. May G*d help us all...esp. the poor teacher!!!~Cheryl

Two poems by KA

Autumn By KA

Two rabbits, you can see,

Jumping high into a tree.

Weeks have passed, so far I've seen,

Leaves, the color of red and orange, not green.

Another week passed and a warm day arrived,

Bees are filling up their hive.

Another week has passed, say, look at the bottom,

Hey, I know this season, it's autumn.

FALL BY KA

A flock of geese,

flying south, not north, not east.

When you go into the woods,

be sure to wear a jacket and hood.

Creepy crawlies, so drab and ugly,

turn from hideous into buggly.

Every day the leaves fall down

wolves howl like dogs in a pound.

People, we can see, pull off a leaf,

because they smell so very sweet.

The Christmas List

Today I was asking the kids what they wanted for Christmas. I explained to them that we were going to scale back our Christmas this year so that they would not be getting much from us. In response, KA says, "that's okay Mom. You already gave me the best gift of all this entire year.

 "What is that, KA?"  

KA: "Love mom, you gave us love."

And little did he know that was MY Christmas present from the boy to whom emotions are like some uncharted territory as explored by Lewis and Clarke.

 Ye,t as wonderful and tear dropping this was

 I still wonder....

...what does he really want?????????????

Stuff

Well, I could not remember my log on info for Blogger so that is why I have not been blogging. Here are a few of the tidbits that happened during this time at my house.

Me: KE you have to be nice to your brothers!
KE: Can't we just get rid of them!

My patience has been sorely tested. Can I EVER get the kids out the door without wailing like a banshee!? I mean come on...you know you wear shoes everyday and underwear and socks....don't you!!!!!!!!!!! To which my wonderful friend replies...  Yup! I hear you! Why do I have to say, "Brush your teeth IN the bathroom?" Isn't that just a given? And why does, "go get your socks on" sound like, "wander into your room, pick up a toy and play with it until I come yell at you."?????? And why, oh why, do I have to tell you that your shirt/pants/socks are on backwards????

 Mars to Earth. Mars to Earth. Do you read me earth? We have an autistic satellite spinning out of control and tossing out non-stop gibberish that the universe is in peril. Repeat the universe is in peril. I think we had better press the RED button and nuke it out of orbit, commander. We don't want this have the same results as the MMR campaign! Shoot it from the sky, NOW!

 KA: Girls nature is having pretty hair. A boys nature is to fart! Oh man we are full of it tonight!

 Meltdown number 478- "That is the thing that is ruining my day...carrots!"

Taylor the Tutor says:" Please, God, grant me patience."
KU: "Maybe you should say, thank you Lord for sending me this test instead."

That Troublesome Wait

I sent my 3 yo granddaughter a bedspread and things for her room. I also included her Christmas presents which she promptly opened when her dad was in the shower. So when I called her I asked KAE, "Did you open the presents that Grandma sent you for Christmas?" 

"Yes, I did grandma," she replied solemnly.

"KAE you were suppose to WAIT until Christmas."

"But Grandma, my WAIT isn't very good yet."