A Most Excellent Politician

Well, let's just say KA realized within nanoseconds that he would be screwed out of having his own room and he would have to share a room with KU if KY moves back home. In keeping with his autistic"I'm looking out for number one" philosophy he says:

"I'm not sure KY moving back is a good idea"

"Why not, KA?"

"Well, I am very concerned about Sophia (KY's dog) She needs a stable environment and you know Dad will not allow her to live with us. Yep, this is a very bad idea for Sophia." And this conversation continues about why this is a bad idea for Sophia for the next five minutes in various forms. She likes her yard at her home, Bene and her fight in the house, Sophia likes peace and quiet and it would be too hard for her to get used to all the noise.

The Ultimate Indignity

So today I walk our "someday trainable" dog to the school to pick up the kids. Two other dogs on a leash come up and they all get into a fight. The other owner and I get our dogs collected. One minute later I am bending down petting my dog when the other owner's dog comes up and pees on me!!!! Seriously.

What is it with music these days?

So today I did something which, frankly, I have never done...I watched about an hour of the AMA awards on television. I really don't watch this sort of stuff because who wants to watch a bunch of drugged out freaky people give themselves awards when, frankly, they already have wayyyy too much time and energy given to them for mostly mediocrity. And watching really just confirmed my view that for the most part those "entertainers" were nothing but a bunch of sold out, sold up folks who are made in the image that the music industry tells us the public wants whether it is the truth or not. I can honestly say that after watching these folks I can tell you they are not what I want to watch, emulate or have my children aspire to. Most of them sing angry sounding songs that promote ugliness, hate and bad behavior. What is up with that? Don't people have enough if that in their lives? I mean really who wants to be brought down any lower? I just don't get it. Why emphasize the negative when these so called "role models" could be promoting the positive. I mean these singers have all the reason in the world to be singing the praises of love, helping others and adoration because that is the life they are living. So unless they are going to help our kids, encourage them and build their confidence I would really rather that they just go home and stop wasting everyone's time and money. If this is truly what the public wants then we should be giving these music lovers a lobotomy so that can truly enjoy the crap that is being promoted by the music industry.

A KA Kind of Day

We are at Borders and the kids are getting to pick a book. KA is unhappy because I insist that he choose something other than a Star Wars book. He says to his tutor, " I think this is one of Mom's plots to build my character!."

So KA is suppose to show us a test that he didn't do well on and he is trying to bargain with his teacher. He is getting annoyed at her and is probably getting very annoying. He looks at her and says, " I am a very generous boy and I am going to give you another chance to change your mind."

Today I was informed that KA was tested and tested above 98% in all areas and is therefore eligible for the Gifted Program. HMMMMMM.

Two in Twenty Four Hours...God Help Me!

If you are an adoptive parent esp one who is parenting a child of a different race then you know how many times you are broadsided by some stranger coming up to you with the expectation that they are allowed to ask any one of a million stupid questions right in front of your kids. It never ceases to amaze me the words that come out of a complete strangers mouth. Lately, I have not had to deal with this so imagine my surprise when in the course of 24 hours I had the following exchanges with some people I have never been formally introduced to and will most likely never meet again.

I have to admit that I was a little evil with the woman at the Mini Mart but gosh darn it I had just been in a video arcade with a bunch of screaming kids for two hours. THat is my excuse.

So yesterday the kids and I go into a Mini Mart and first thing out of the
cashiers mouth as she looks at Kellis " ahhhh she is so cute..."
(Okay I can feel it coming on. Let me see if I can read your mind and finish
the sentence for you sweetie)

"Are they your kids?"

(I knew it. If I only had a nickel. I always know when we start out with a she is so cute it will be followed by nosey questions. But today I was prepared.

"Yep they are all mine."

Funny look crosses her face.

"They don't look anything like you."

"Yeah I know."

"I think they look Asian"

"Naw, my ancestors are English and German"

"Their dad must be Asian then"

"Nope. Here is his picture. ( I pull out my husband's picture) See, He is German too. Oh, and here is a picture of my oldest daughter." (Who is as pale skinned as they come)

She stares at it, looks down at the kids and back at me. Confusion is written
all over her face.

"Yep, the doctors don't understand it either. They think it has something to do
with drinking too much of the water when we went to Asia. Bye now."

And then this afternoon it happened again.

I was in the Super Wal-Mart. Up walks this 50ish man.
(Oh crap... here is comes I think to myself trying to turn my body away but can't get turned fast enough.)

"I know you get this all the time"......

(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Don't you F'ing say whatever is about to come out of your
mouth)

"but are your kids adopted?"

(Hmmmm should I go with the No, why do you ask tactic?)

"Are they from the orient?"

(Oh God...not one of these I just can't take it today!)

"They were born in South Korea"

"Is that the communist country?"

"No, that would be North Korea"

"THe reason I ask is because I have adopted 8 of my own"

(Okay, maybe I can put my guard down a little)

"WE got them in all colors. We have two of our own and then we got a Mexican one, and a black one and this one here (pointing to a I would guess 16 yo) well we don't know what she is"

(Oh God help me and get me away from this idiot)

"And one we have now is 3 and her Mom is in prison and the man she named as the
father well his DNA didn't match so I think we are going to get her thank god.
She doesn't need to have a loser mother like that."

"Sounds like you have a lovely family. We have to keep shopping. It's nice
meeting you."

And just when I thought I was done I ran into him 2 more times and each time he
starts a conversation and once his daughter looks at me as I pass and says

"Do they all have the same mother?"

"Why, yes they do. It's me!"

I am NOT going out tomorrow....its comes in threes you know!

The New Buddha

Last night I walk into the kitchen and find KU sitting on a small blanket, legs folded with his hands open and on his legs with the Bible sitting in front of him. "What are you doing?," I ask. "I am finding my peace," is his reply. What the heck...where did that come from?

THe Genius

KA: Mom, Why did GOd make me autistic?
Me: I don't think God does things like that. Things just happen.
KA: I guess that is why God made me a genius in order to compensate.
Me: Honey, you aren't a genius.
KA: Okay, brillant. God made me brillant
Me: Yes you are honey. Yes you are.

That Was Close...The Dreaded Sex Talk

KU: Mom what do people do to like each other?
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
KU: What do people do who like each other?
Me: Well, when you like someone you look them in the eye and ask them questions about themselves.
KU: That is not what I mean
Me: I don't understand the question, KU.
KU: How do people who like each other have a baby?
Me: (Oh Holy cr**. How do I answer that? If I tell him the truth then I know he will draw an anatomically correct cartoon and show every kid on the playground tomorrow)
KU: So how do the blue and red wires come together in your body?
Me: Huh? (I must be getting dumber by the second because I have no clue how to answer this question! What does he know that I don't?)
KU: You know the red and blue wires in your body?
Me: Oh ( I knew he was an alien....he just blew his cover. Wait a minute...thinking back to the blood work that was drawn earlier in the week) Do you mean the arteries and veins in your body?
KU: Yeah. Those. How do they make a baby?
Me: Why do you ask?
KU: Well I like babies.
Me: First of all it takes a man and a woman who have to be over 25 and really, really like each other enough to get married (please, Father, forgive me because I have lied but its only because I didn't have time to prepare. I mean really THAT one really came out of left field. Now how to I reconcile this with adoption? Oh Geez man have I blown that one!)
KU: Never mind mom I know the rest, he says as he is leaving the room
Me: (Oh cr** what does that mean? Should I go find out? Naw....I'll let Dave tackle it when he gets home. Maybe by then KU will have forgotten this entire conversation....one can only hope!)

My husband comes home and says I handled the whole situation wrong. He said I should have told KU that you use a wirenut to wire the two wires together and that they then create electricity which creates a baby. Silly me!

Homework Time

Viewing KA's homework with him. One paper everything is wrong. I ask him what happened as he usually gets all his math correct. He looks at me and says "Did you help me with this one?"

Allie and Jenni are making arrays with coins. THere are 12 coins. Allie makes a 3x4 array and Jenni makes a 6x2 array. Explain why both students are correct.
KA: Mom, do you think you understand this or should I get KU (my younger brother) to check my work?

I am having KA do an extra page of math. KA: My teacher will kill me if I do extra. Me: I don't think she will kill you. KA: Yes she will kill me. Me: KA, I will ask her tomorrow if she will kill you for doing extra work. KA: Mark my words she is going to kill me for it and it will be your fault.

I Need To Start Thinking

I keep thinking that I need to start writing about some heavy duty subjects. You know...work the brain. Think a little. Ponder. Delve. But frankly, I am kind of enjoying this ride down the lazy river that I am on. It's kind of like being 17 years old again tubing down the river and drinking Boone's Farm. You know there are rapids up ahead but you wait until you see them to do something about it. Lately my life is just slowly moving and it is like I am being carried along.... no paddling required. I'm not looking to make any splashes or even get a little wet. I'm just kind of enjoying slowly floating along being taken to wherever I am suppose to see, hear whatever songs are being sung, tasting the fine things that life offers up. I wish I could say that I'm feeling this way because I have matured, I've been enlightened or some other such nonsense. The truth is that the doctor put me on two medications for my fibromyalgia which is working wonders and I feel wonderful. Now that is worth writing about!