Poems by KA ( Yes, I am a proud momma!)

Someone in this family ate an autism sandwich for breakfast yesterday as well as one this morning. May G*d help us all...esp. the poor teacher!!!~Cheryl

Two poems by KA

Autumn By KA

Two rabbits, you can see,

Jumping high into a tree.

Weeks have passed, so far I've seen,

Leaves, the color of red and orange, not green.

Another week passed and a warm day arrived,

Bees are filling up their hive.

Another week has passed, say, look at the bottom,

Hey, I know this season, it's autumn.

FALL BY KA

A flock of geese,

flying south, not north, not east.

When you go into the woods,

be sure to wear a jacket and hood.

Creepy crawlies, so drab and ugly,

turn from hideous into buggly.

Every day the leaves fall down

wolves howl like dogs in a pound.

People, we can see, pull off a leaf,

because they smell so very sweet.

The Christmas List

Today I was asking the kids what they wanted for Christmas. I explained to them that we were going to scale back our Christmas this year so that they would not be getting much from us. In response, KA says, "that's okay Mom. You already gave me the best gift of all this entire year.

 "What is that, KA?"  

KA: "Love mom, you gave us love."

And little did he know that was MY Christmas present from the boy to whom emotions are like some uncharted territory as explored by Lewis and Clarke.

 Ye,t as wonderful and tear dropping this was

 I still wonder....

...what does he really want?????????????

Stuff

Well, I could not remember my log on info for Blogger so that is why I have not been blogging. Here are a few of the tidbits that happened during this time at my house.

Me: KE you have to be nice to your brothers!
KE: Can't we just get rid of them!

My patience has been sorely tested. Can I EVER get the kids out the door without wailing like a banshee!? I mean come on...you know you wear shoes everyday and underwear and socks....don't you!!!!!!!!!!! To which my wonderful friend replies...  Yup! I hear you! Why do I have to say, "Brush your teeth IN the bathroom?" Isn't that just a given? And why does, "go get your socks on" sound like, "wander into your room, pick up a toy and play with it until I come yell at you."?????? And why, oh why, do I have to tell you that your shirt/pants/socks are on backwards????

 Mars to Earth. Mars to Earth. Do you read me earth? We have an autistic satellite spinning out of control and tossing out non-stop gibberish that the universe is in peril. Repeat the universe is in peril. I think we had better press the RED button and nuke it out of orbit, commander. We don't want this have the same results as the MMR campaign! Shoot it from the sky, NOW!

 KA: Girls nature is having pretty hair. A boys nature is to fart! Oh man we are full of it tonight!

 Meltdown number 478- "That is the thing that is ruining my day...carrots!"

Taylor the Tutor says:" Please, God, grant me patience."
KU: "Maybe you should say, thank you Lord for sending me this test instead."

That Troublesome Wait

I sent my 3 yo granddaughter a bedspread and things for her room. I also included her Christmas presents which she promptly opened when her dad was in the shower. So when I called her I asked KAE, "Did you open the presents that Grandma sent you for Christmas?" 

"Yes, I did grandma," she replied solemnly.

"KAE you were suppose to WAIT until Christmas."

"But Grandma, my WAIT isn't very good yet."

The End Of The World Is Near

KU: Mom, when is the end of the world coming?

Me: Why do you ask?

KU: I decided I need to get ready for it.

Me: Well, that is assuming that you believe the end of the world is near. Do you believe that?

KU: Yes

Me: Why do you think that?

KU: Because I invented a machine that could slice from one end of the earth to the other and I am not sure what would happen. I think the two halves would split apart and float in space.

Me: Oh I see so you will bring about the end of the world?

KU: It wouldn't be on purpose. It's just that I don't have the design perfect yet.

Me: Well, KU, you have the choice to make good machines or not so good ones. I hope that you choose to make good ones that help people.

KU: Okay, mom. I'll do that.

Messy

Tonight we are sitting at the table and the kids are doing their homework when KU starts acting up because he is frustrated. It is the usual frustration that he feels when doing math...it might as well be Greek to him. First he starts making faces, then it escalates to an angry voice, the tears start to flow and then he starts kicking that table. KA looks up from his homework and says "Don't go messing with Mom. I did that once and it wasn't pretty!"

KU Quip

KU: I wish my sister had a mute button!

This weekend I told the boys that we needed to send Uncle Mark an email. Uncle Mark is currently serving as a Chaplain  over in Afghanistan. I always think it is interesting how while both boys have autism their take on things is so different from one another; proving once again that Autism comes in different shapes and forms. KA is 9 yo and KU is 8 yo.

Dear Uncle Mark from KU:

Hope you are having a good time. Is it hot or is it cold? Have you had any battles yet? It's me, KU.

Dear Uncle Mark from KA:

War is hell.

Me: KA, first of all I think that we should not say war is hell.

KA: Why not?

Me: Well, for one Uncle Mark is over there and it seems like it probably isn't the best thing to say. And number two, Uncle Mark is a minister and he probably doesn't like you using the word Hell.

KA: Why not?

Me: It's just an hunch. So can you think of something else to say?

KA: Okay, how about war is something very cruel and bloody. So if you feel like you have to throw up, you are probably not the only one. Actually, I would throw up if I saw war. But even if you are in a war you have your rights.Don't forget that. Love KA.

Yep, different boys, different takes on life. 

Two Minutes And Counting Until The Bus Arrives

I absolutely HATE school mornings. They go something like this.

Where is your homework folder...I don't know...How could you not know? You put it in your backpack last night...but I looked at it this morning...where did you look at it....I dunno.  Okay, where is your lunchbox...I dunno...Did you get it off of the kitchen counter like I told you to do?... What kitchen counter?... The one in the castle out in back. Ask the cook for it....But you are the cook...Yes, I am and obviously the keeper of the lunchbox. No, my teacher keeps it so I don't lose it. Okay, well tell your teacher to come over here so we know where your lunchbox is... Mom, I need you to sign this. I need a cake for school... Today? You need a cake today...I think so...Give me that note!... KU....where are your shoes? ....I dunno...KU the bus is going to be here in two minutes. You need to get your shoes on. Where are they?Are you kidding me? I told you 30 minutes ago to put on your shoes and now you are asking me where they are now?.... KA, go upstairs and brush your hair...I did last night...well it's morning now so do it now...but you don't shave your legs in the night and then in the morning...but I should, so go upstairs and brush your hair. And your teeth....Why?.... On God help me keep what little sanity I have left!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and this picture shows exactly how I feel in the morning except it would be my body under that bus!!!!

Homework Globlins

I recently heard that we have a budget crisis in our educational system. Districts are selling their souls to fast food conglomerates in order to save money now at the expense of our kids health in the future. But have no fear, Cheryl's here. As it turned out I stumbled upon this idea early this morning while trying to deliver the kids to the bus on time and in one piece (hard labor is an easier task) without me pulling all my hair out or diving under the tires of fast moving mini van for a momentary reprieve. And if the truth be known,  I really must confess that hate this part of the school year. There are no holidays to give you a break from the homework demons and winter solstice seems a million miles away. Yes, at this point in the school year the only thing a parent can look forward to is catching the flu to get out of being on homework duty.

I have also noticed by this time of the year the novelty of school has worn off for all involved. Involuntary twitching can be seen in teachers everywhere, parents recite times tables in their sleep while Jr. can't remember that any number times zero is ZERO, and our children's homework papers are crammed into their backpacks intertwined with last week's school notices that never made it home. The Return To School and the Keep At School sections of the homework notebook have become a mishmash of writing that is barely legible but could definitely qualify for an A in Swahili. In addition, the right corner of my son's backpack holds last weeks peanut butter and jelly sandwich which lays limply; growing mold for some science project that is due in 2012. But even worse than all that is that around this time of year it marks the return of The Homework Thief. You know him. He stars in the daily early-morning soap; The Case Of The Missing Homework. And he never fails to show up especially the morning after a night spent in Homework Hell. Count on it. Spend two hours working with your child on homework and the next morning it is impossible to locate. This despite your reiterating rule number # 632 "Put your homework in your backpack", which, you have undoubtedly said 632 times that evening. Sometime between midnight when you haul yourself into bed and the 6 am torture of packing lunches, ironing clothes, checking teeth making a hearty breakfast for your spawn; The Homework Thief sneaks into the house and steals your child's homework so you can look like the negligent parent who parks his ass in front of the TV all night and tells his kid to tell the teacher "the dog ate it."And it never fails that during parent teacher conference you see the teachers whispering as you pass by now and forever to be labeled Loser Mom of the Universe (LMU).

But today I had enough. Tired of being pegged as a SPAM (slacker posing as mom) or a LMU I decided to fight back and protect what shred of dignity I had left after my son's rendition of the now infamous What We Did On Summer Vacation report. Head held high I sent my son's teacher an email this morning. It read:

 Dear Mr. F: Last night KA did his homework (with me suffering right along with him for two hours!) and this morning it is gone. Instead of putting his folder in his backpack when completed as he was instructed to do;once again The Homework Thief has broken into our house and removed his work. UGH. I guess you will have to duct tape KA to the wall as an example to all the other students!

Hmmmm, SPAM mom, I think not. From now on I think I wish to be known as a DIMWIM type of mom (don't intentionally mess with ME). If only more parents took this approach instead of the "don't punish my child just because he is irresistible and irresponsible"the world would be a better place and schools would become safer. Therefore, in keeping with the tradition of innovative school practices I propose this.... duct tape. Better than a hall monitor or an assistant principal whose sole duty is to impose educational justice on slacker kids; at just $2.99 it is a school district's dream come true. 101 uses for duct tape, I think not. Why limit yourself when 102 will do.