Losing One's Marbles At Trader Joe's

At Trader Joe's this evening, just KA and I. So he is pushing the cart and kind of flapping around. After several times of me telling him to stop I grabbed the cart and started flapping my arms like a damn chicken and making clucking noises..VERY LOUDLY...I must say everyone was looking at me. KA got embarrased at which point I said to him, "So why is it you can do things and you think it isn't embarrasing and then I flap and cluck like a chicken and you are embarrased?" He replied, "I don't know mom but if you promise not to peck at the floor I promise not to tell Dad you lost your marbles."

Skin Color 101

So Taylor the tutor is talking to KA about skin color. "Some people like me have pink skin, some have brown skin, some tan and some have yellow skin." KA "What happened? Nuclear Radiation?"


In case you don't know it KA's ethnicity is Korean.

Stuck on Genetic Engineering

KA: So, I have a few ideas about genetic engineering. I am thinking it would not be good to make a Killer Whale/Great White Shark Combination.

Me: Probably not

KA: A herbivorous dinosaur would be okay but I dont think a carnivorious one would be appreciated.

Me: Right again

KA: I am thinking that bird-like dinosaur and a very fast runner may produce an interesting result. Or maybe a fish and a giant squid so you could feed the world....I forgot. I don't like fish. Okay then maybe an otter and popcorn.

Me: Huh?

KA: It would produce an Otter Pop! Just seeing if you're listening, Mom. Just seeing if you are listening.

Engineered

KA: I just don't understand it.
Me: What don't you understand?
KA: She's quiet as a mouse, she is ferocious as a tiger, she is as swift as a deer, she's as mean as a badger and she looks as innocent as a kitten. Mom, has KE been genetically engineered?

The Olden Days Part Gazillion

KU: So what did you do in the olden days, mom?
Me: What are you wanting to know (thinking I'm not getting sucked into this sandtrap again!)
KU: Well, like what did you do when you were bored?
Me: Well, I helped my mother with the laundry. Or I did the dishes. Or I cleaned the bathroom.
KU: I don't believe that mom.
Me: Why not ( I ask innocently)
KU: Because those are all things that you want me to do
KA: Yeah, I think she is using reverse psychology on us. Don't fall for it. Protect yourself.
KU: No, mom, seriously, what did you do?
Me: Okay, I went out and rode my bike
KU: Did bikes look like they do today?
Me: Of course
KU: What you are saying is IMPOSSIBLE
Me: Why is that?
KU: They hadn't invented the wheel yet.

Drawback of Scotland

Me: Maybe we should move to Scotland
KA: I like the American way of life
Me: What exactly is the American way of life
KA: Swimming pools, movie stars and not walking around so much
Me: So you are saying that you like just sitting around doing nothing and living your life through the rich and famous?
KA: Exactly. This other stuff is hard work!

Walking with KA Conversation 2

Walking with KA Conversation 2

KA: So mom when we get home are you going to step on that thing

Me: What thing?

KA: You know the thing that makes you cry and lie

Me: What are you talking about?

KA: You know that thing that tells you what you weigh and then you cry and moan and then say "I won't eat ice cream the rest of the week"...and then you do. And then you cry harder the next week and then the whole thing starts over again.

Me: You mean the scale

KA: Yep that it. Why won't you get on it? Are you afraid it will break? I saw something about truck scales weighing things that were big. Do you think you might want to try one of those?

Walking with K

Walking with KA:

Me: Why won't you read Harry Potter?

KA: It has cats

Me: So what. What is the problem with cats?

KA: I don't like them. They remind me of something that is pure evil

Me: What is that?

KA:KE.

Me: KE is NOT evil.

Karson. Okay but she does scratch like a wild cat. Sometimes I think she is really just an evil cat just like that woman/cat in Harry Potter. That is why I don't read books about cats or Harry Potter because they remind me of her.

The Oldness Remover Invention

KU: Mom, you just had a birthday, right.

Me: Yes, KU

KU: And you didn’t like it because you are so old

Me: Something like that

Kullen: Well, I have an invention that might help

Me: So what is it

KU: It is an invention that removes oldness

Me: Really . How does it work?

KU: You put the person in one end of this big box and when they come out the other end they are younger

Me: Does that mean I would be your age when I came out

KU: You can’t expect miracles. Nothing can remove that much oldness.

Me: Thanks son. So how much oldness could it remove?

KU: About 60 years

Me: Kullen I am only 50. Thanks again.

KU leaves the room and comes back a minute later

KU: I thought of a better invention

Me: What’s that?

KU: a machine that snatches back your words before someone else hears them

Me: That’s a great idea. It might even save your live someday.

KU: That’s why I thought of it.

Mr. Talks Alot

Me: KA you can't be doing things like that. Other people don't like it.

KA: But mom I'm an adorable boy

Me: KA, I think you are adorable but not everyone else on the planet does

KA: Why not?

Me: It's called love, KA. Love makes the people who love you think you are adorable when others who don't love you may not think so

KA: Okay, well then I am just cute....actually I am a little too cute. I think sometimes I am so cute someone might kidnap me.

Me: That is why you need to stay close to your parents and not go off on your own.

KA: I think I do have one thing going for me if I am kidnapped

Me: What is that, Karson.

KA: I talk alot. That might make them give me back.

Me: It's a definate possibility, son. A definate possibility.