A Tad Bitter Are We...You Bet!!!

So Dave is getting ready to go away on another business trip. I hate it when Dave makes it "sound" like business trips are a big inconvience and he wants to be home with us. Yet, while he is gone he rarely calls. It just doesn't add up...ya know! So while he is sitting there complaining about his time away from home I am thinking...yeah, right, give me a frickin' break!!! Wah, wah, wah!!!

Like who doesn't like fresh sheets daily, their room magically cleaned when they step outside the door, a choice of foods for every meal of the day that I don't even know how to pronounce much less cook, getting to watch whatever YOU want on TV, those little bottles of soaps and creams that smell so yummy, renting a sportscar in an attempt to relive those magical yet desperate days B.C., shopping at someplace other than Target ALONE, fluffy impossibly white bathrobes, and lets not forget all the liquor you could want with the oh so tempting possibility of passing out on the bed and waking up with a hangover that is not the result of your kid screaming you awake at 5 a.m. in the morning. Oh and the eye candy down by the pool. PLEASE. Should my life only be that "rough."

Personally I think that Mommyhood needs its own frickin' conference once a week in order to keep up with all the news coming from science on how best to raise our children, seminars on how to make jello into a nutrious food and how to keep your sex life glowing when you have had little hands touching just about every part of your body 5000 times a day for the last three years, or how about instructions on set broken bones in your own home so that those pesky doctors bills can be avoided. Yep I want my own little conference to attend. I promise I will look dismal at the thought of going off on my own but I'm afraid that when I burn rubber after the requisite hugs and kisses; it might just be a dead giveaway as to my true feelings.