Dear Judge

THis is a recent letter I sent to the local traffic judge

Dear Judge:

Please read this letter with a keen sense of humor as this is how my
letter is intended. I am not meaning to undermine the seriousness of
the situation but, frankly, if I don't try and laugh about this
situation, I will cry.

First, let me say I am a hot flashing pre-menopausal woman of
five...that about sums it up quite nicely!!! Recently, I was issued a
ticket on my way to Corcoran to take my children to swimming lessons.
I was given a ticket that says I was going approximately 70 in a 55
zone. I object to the speed written. I was in fact, going 65. How do
I know? Well I inadvertently set the cruise control at 65 after
turning onto the highway. Yes, I know the legal speed is 55. My
husband warned me NEVER to go over 55 on this highway because the
road is a speed trap. With that said and in order to avoid any
problems; everyday that I went to Corcoran; I set my cruise to 55.
However, on this particular day when I turned off the highway I had
my three year old screaming in the back seat because her six year old
brother had just clobbered her over the head with a toy. The other
six year old had just found a soda and decided to shake it before
opening it and spewed soda throughout the car. These are the types of
things that two autistic boys tend to like to do when their mother is
driving. So as I set the cruise I was trying to maintain my composure
while yelling at the top of my lungs, "Stop hitting your sister...If
you EVER shake a soda again you will never ever have another one the
rest of your life...Kellis stop crying... there is no blood...Kullen
stop taking apart the electrical system of the car and put your hands
in your pocket NOW ... don't make me pull over the car." (In
retrospect perhaps I should have pulled over.) All of this was said
in a span of 10.5 seconds. In addition, I was thinking about my 17
year old teenager who was suppose to be coming home from Brazil in a
few days after being away on an Rotary International Exchange for a
year. She had called me an hour prior to this incident to tell me she
might not be coming home that weekend as she was in the hospital with
appendicitis. Obviously, I was not thinking clearly when I set my
cruise. I am guilty. And I am remorseful. I am remorseful for going
over the speed limit as it caused chaos in my car after the highway
patrol man stopped us. I had to deal with my kids being afraid I was
being taken to jail for the next week. I am remorseful for not
pulling the car over and regaining Mommy control I am remorseful
that I was not paying close enough when I set my cruise control. And
I am remorseful for breaking the law.

With the question of my guilt out of the way I can only assume that
you have several options available to you about what to do with me.
Maybe there are more but I suspect I am too frazzled to think of
them. The first is to send me to traffic school and that is a good
choice. However, I have been so sleep deprived for the last six years
(autistic kids do not sleep well) that I am seriously afraid I might
fall asleep in class and get myself in even more trouble.

The second option is to send me to jail for a day hopefully on a
weekend so my husband could watch the kids. I promise I would bring
the CA Drivers Handbook to read and study it. Frankly, it would be
the first time I have been able to read something longer than two
pages of anything in the last six years and most likely it would not
have the words SEE JANE RUN so, frankly, this type of reading would
be a delight. While I realize that at my age and weight the strip
search might be slightly ...okay, really embarrassing...the thought
of having a private cell with a private bed sounds like heaven. This
coming from a mother whose children ALWAYS end up in her bed every
single night. If you sentence me to serve this sentence, I will
never tell another mother for if I did they would all be squealing
their tires backing out of the driveway as they raced for the
highway in an attempt to get some much deserved rest. I promise it
will be our little secret.


Another option might be just to slap me on the wrist (I'll bring it
to you) and say "Okay, you have a clean driving record and sometimes
we all have a bad day. My advice to you is to wait until your husband
comes home and take a slow drive out in the country without your
kids to get a little rest and relaxation. This case is dismissed."

Whatever you do, I promise I will not break the speed limit again. I
have learned my lesson and frankly bail at $168.00 really needs to go
to pay my kids numerous medical bills instead of the court.

Sincerely,

Cheryl

P.S. My friend who works in the jail says that perhaps I might want
to reconsider that jail idea. She says that MRSA is rampant there and
that the last thing my kids need is MRSA. I will leave that for you
to decide.