On Being Called GRANDMA When With Your Young Children

Recently, one of the women that I am on a BB with talked about how strangers were referring to her as Grandma if she was out with her kids. Undoubtedly, that is not the kind of comment that makes you go out and take on the day. At 49, I have had that happen to me several times. So in that vein, if I did all the things it would take to make me look younger I would:


 1.Lose more weight (and I just read a study that said skinny people are perceived as older because fatter people's skin stretches and you can't see the lines) So I am carefully looking at my options here and an ice cream sundae that is calling out too me  
2. I would lose the van and get a 2 seater sports car (that isn't going to happen anytime soon) 
3. have my own personal crane to hoist certain sagging body parts up but that is out of the question because I can't afford the teamsters operators fees for the crane operator.
 4. elect to have surgery, surgery, surgery...unfortunately it is all considered elective no matter how many times I have argued with my insurance if you are going to pay for viagra then it is only fair that you pay for a tummy tuck, butt tuck and anything else the doc is willing to tuck. And really, if all us "grandma's" looked that good the Viagra market would tank. Obviously, the BIG PHARMA would NEVER allow that to happen
 5. I would hire a couple of old men to walk around and call me "Mom" and everyone will think I look fabulous but I really don't like all the paperwork that would entail unless I could pay them under the table so as to not endanger their social secutirty
 6. Pay my kids to call me "sis" while we are out in public but unfortunately I think they would refuse citing the creepiness clause. 
7. Divorce my husband and marry Castro so the next time someone said that to me I could yell "Off with their head!" It would certainly make those idiots who say things like that think twice! 
8. Yell out "these are my grandchildren? Last time I saw them they had blond hair and blue eyes. What did you do with my other grandchildren? Police! Police!"

So instead of going to all the time and effort of the above I have elected to:

1. Get a shot of botox right between the eyebrows since that large crevice makes me look angry all the time. I don't do the eyes or anything else just that horrid spot that makes me look tired and mean 
 2. I am considering telling everyone that I am a 65 yo Grandma and then instead of them thinking I look old their perception of me will change immediately and they will tell me how great I look for my age. I am also thinking about carrying around a very expensive jar of face cream that I will sell to them for $300 so they can look as good as I do at (cough, cough) 65. 

Okay, I am done. See your sense of humor also gets worse when you get to be my age! So does the dementia!

Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh My!

Today we went up to the cabin and took a hike. While walking we saw deer prints and a set of mountain lion tracks! It was amazing. Living in the city you sometimes forget that nature has her own way of doing things. And that bear, bobcat and mountain lions really do still roam free. Dave brings his huge walking stick when we go hiking. I am not really sure that it would protect us should a mountain lion pounce but at least it makes us feel like we have a fighting chance.

On our hike our son (age 5) looks over to his dad and says " Daddy you are brillant"
We just looked at each other astonished...where did he learn that word? So Dave says to him, "What does brillant mean?" and he relied "It means you can do many things well." By golly, I think he is brillant!