How Hidden Is Racism?

As the mother of three children whom are “persons of color” it occurred to me after watching the RNC that things can change on a dime in the spirit of winning at all costs. All of a sudden Christian conservatives are calling the birth of Sarah Palin’s grandchild a blessed event and making Palin’s 17 year old daughter the poster girl of all that is good and holy; a righteous child who has chosen to do the “right” and noble thing. For young teens everywhere she is now the idol that they are to look up to. The child who has done the “correct” thing under God‘s personal direction. Yet, I wonder how “blessed” that event would be had Bristol Palin come out on stage holding the hand of an African American or Hispanic young man and introduced him as the father of her child. Something tells me that the “blessed event” would have sent shockwaves through the convention hall and Governor Palin would have been sent packing back to Alaska. Somehow I believe that the “mixing of races” might not have played out so well for young Bristol and her mother. That racism would have reared its ugly head like it usually does for those young women who carry a baby to term who is the product of a union that crosses their own racial profile. It would be nice to believe that this would not be so in this day and age. Yet, time and time again we see stories about people of color being physically abused or killed because of their race. Gay men and women who are murdered because of their sexual orientation. While most whites would like to believe that things have substantially improved for persons of color because it is comfortable for them to do so, in fact, racism is alive and well here in the USA. Unfortunately, it is one of the things that is energizing the McCain/ Palin ticket. It isn't just about voting for a woman it is about voting against a person of color. I just wonder if it will ever be about voting for the smartest, most capable person for the job regardless of their race or gender. Seems to me we have a long way to go before those will be the "good old days."

Pride

Last weekend I was trying to get Karson to jump into the pool without sitting down. As I was coaxing him I said, "Karson if you jump in you will be so proud of yourself." His reaponse, "I already am proud of myself."

Palin Belittles Teaching Profession

I find Governor Palin’s belittlement of Senator Barack Obama’s career accomplishments offensive. Since when does being a teacher for many years count for nothing? Coming from a long line of teachers I find teachers share many attributes that serve them well in government. Teachers need to know how to collaborate effectively, how to work with a diverse group of people and how to listen in a way that allows others to feel comfortable enough to share their concerns. They have to constantly evaluate the effectiveness of their teaching and refine themselves and their message should the need arise. Teachers have to know how to lead critical discussion, they must be able to problem solve effectively, find insight in unlikely places, they have to be flexible and clear up misconceptions quickly. Teachers must be able to show how different ideas connect and show how they apply to everyday life. Great teachers have to communicate effectively, know how to procure and use outside help, treat people with dignity and respect, share personal stories to inspire others and show genuine interest and concern for those at the top as well as the bottom of the ladder. They must possess a willingness to encourage, to teach responsibility and work long hours for little pay . Teaching is an honorable profession for millions of Americans. I am saddened and insulted that Governor Palin does not recognize that teaching , being a community organizer, a member of the state legislature and the US Senate prepares you for handling more complex issues in an honorable manner. Attacking and belittling does not belong in the classroom nor in government. Personally, I like Senator Obama’s subtle but persuasive style. I suspect that other world leaders will too.

Palin's Lack of Experience

For Governor Palin to believe that her four months of experience as a mother to a special needs child qualifies her as an expert/advocate shows that she has a total lack of understanding on what being a parent to a special needs child entails. Experience and effective advocacy come only after spending years fighting insurance companies, the state, and school districts in an often futile effort to get your child the multitude of services they need. You must have years of visiting doctors, specialists, and therapists under your belt to understand the kind of stress that this type of intense care puts on the caretaker and the rest of the family. In addition, you must have had to make dozens of anguishing decisions about what services to keep and which ones you can no longer continue because of the tremendous costs associated with the special needs child. Finally, you must have cried yourself to sleep more times than your want to count because of the guilt and frustration you feel at not being able to get your child the services they need in order to reach their full potential and become independent tax paying citizens. Truly it is only after years of ups and downs, disappointments and exhaustion that Governor Palin will have the experience necessary to be an effective parent/advocate for her own child and for the rest of us fighting for our special needs children . I wish her luck navigating the world of special needs.

Our Hearing

Well folks I have not written because I am still exhausted and
PISSED.

Dave did in incredible job or organzing everything and we had
exhibits A-HH. Here is a quick run down.

1. The night before the hearing Dr. KS (our kids psychologist that they see every week) scored the teachers ABAS
II and called to tell us that they were statisically invalid. The
reason was that there were too many "I am guessing" answers. AS you
will recall in Janauary the boys we were told that were denied
services SOLELY based on their teachers ABAS II tests. So Dr.KS believes that the ABAS II that they did for the CVRC is
probably statistically invalid. when we got into court we asked to
see the entire ABAS II instead of just the final scored page. We were
denied that by the CVRC citin "confidentiality" reasons. In addition,
they say that they do not have the RSP teacher(Mrs. D's) ABASII that
she filled out for both of the boys. Here is the kicker. Mrs. D hand
carried the envelope with the ABASII down to the CVRC. In Karson's
envelope was hercompleted ABAS II and his teacher, Mrs. B's
ABAS II. In Kullen evenlope was her completed ABAS II and Mrs.
S's ABAS II. The CVRC has both teachers but cannot find Mrs.
D's!!! Mrs. D informed me that she had tons of "guesses on her test"
So on Friday I went to the school and asked that each teachersign a
form waiving their rights to "confidentiality" so that the entire
test could be viewed by the judge and ourselves. Unfortunately, it
was kicked upstairs to the district level. All the teachers are in
agreement that we should have access to these documents. So I have no
idea what will happen. However, On Monday I am going back to the
school and will put a formal request in to see the boys entire
records. In the RSP file there are copies of the ABAS II tests that
the teachers took. I don't know if they will let me see them. I will
also be asking that a count be made of each subsection of the test
with the number of "guesses" that each teacher entered.

2. The CVRC used over 2 year old data to assess Kullen which is
against their guidelines and if we get the ABAS II thrown out then
they have nothing to have denied him with.

3. Their psychologist, Dr.S, lied on the stand and said that she
never said their determiniation was based soley on the ABAS II at
which point I yelled out "She is lying" Not once but twice.

4. I did great as a witness. I really did and I got in so much
stuff that was way beyond the question DAve asked. He would ask a
question and I would go and go and go and no one stopped me.

5. 5 days before the hearing we had to turn our evidence over to them
and they to us. Well I made CD's of the boys and forgot to include a
minute long segment on the poppy toilet paper that is left in the
trsh can because Karson cannot wipe his butt. They refused to let us
enter it into evidence.

6. Dr. S (CRVC's psychologist) signed off on the fact that the boys were autistic but
said it was no her handwriting that listed their diagnosis.

7. There is no MD signature signing off on Kullen's report. This is
suppose to be a team evaluation and a doctor is required to sign off.

8. Under oath we asked Dr.S why they did not include the "circle
of support" (family, parents, friends, teachers, etc) that they are
suppose to when making a determination. Dr. S got very pissy and
said she didn't know what that was. Folks, that is from their OWN
FRICKIN guidelines!!!!

I could go on and on. Unfortuantely even with all this I don't know
that we can win because:
1. While we can ask questions we don't know how to ask them in a way
that will get us the biggest bang for the buck
2. We don't know how to get further important evidence admitted that
we did not have when we exchanged evidence.

THe real thing we have to win on besides incompetatnce (not knowing
the laws, being late on the mandatory 120 assessment, using old
documents, not including the circle of support, etc) is that they are
saying that the boys adaptive skills are adequate and that they are
not seriously impaired. This is really what this is all abou and what
we need to prove. Dr. KS said that the boys had IQ tests of
about 100 and therefore their adaptive scores should fall in that
area too. But theres are at 76. Unfortuantely (well not really...you
know what I mean) some catagories theyare in the 13 as in academics.
They are also trying to show that their IQ's are too high but really
it is not suppose to be based on IQ.

We are not done. We did not finish and dave still has to ask me
quesitions and I have to be cross examined. In addition, we have to
do arguments. We are exhausted and MAD as HELL that we have to fight
so fricking hard. In reviewing recent cases it appears that hardly
anyone wins so it is an unhill battle. If we lose we will keep bringing forth new evidence to get the boys services. Period.

Our Trip To The Orphanage

A two year old girl prostituted out to the highest bidder. A little
girl with cigarette burns up and down her young body. A young boy bearing a 4 inch long scar on his head from where he had been pistol whipped by his father. An eight day old baby, sexally abused. These are just a few of the children I held today at the orphanage. I wonder, how can children who have survived such horrific abuse still greet us with such smiles. I know I wouldn't have the fortitude.


Casa Hogar Sion orphanage came into existence over 10 years ago when Carmen Gonzalez recieved a message from God to help the children. She wondered if she was crazy and what the message meant. Three months later she heard God speaking to her once more. Again he told her to go out and help the children. What started out as a mission to help just a few children has grown into an orphanage which houses 120 children. Living in dormitory rooms of 12-18 children, each child has their own bed, attends school and is fed three meals a day. Often the children have been abused and neglected or their parents have died. Sometimes parents just need a place for their kids to come until they can reclaim them. As Carmen explained, "Sometimes our children come in with hard hearts but through the love of Jesus their hearts soften."

The orphanage needs $14,000 a month in order to survive and provide for the basic needs of the children. It costs $2,000 a month just to send all the children to school. This does not include the tuition that is needed to send the older children to trade school or college. It also does not include the $120 it costs to supply the school uniform that is required for school attendance.

Water must be brought in on a daily basis at a cost to the orphanage as the water that flows from the tap is unsafe to drink or cook with. There is no heat in winter and no insulation in the walls. Every child seems to be walking around with a runny nose. Everyday, day in and out, there are 30 loads of laundry that must be done, noses that need to be wiped, and beds that need to be made. And it is done by dedicated house mothers who make sure that the floors are clean and the children get a hug or kiss every time they walk by. Several of the older girls have gone to beauty school. They cut the little ones hair. But still there are shortfalls and shortages. For instance, we brought supplies donated from our church. You never would believe the happiness shown over a 6 pack of shampoo. They had just run out. The joy at new toothbrushes and toothpaste. Yet, still there was an urgent need for diapers. But as Carmen says, "God will provide" a statement we hear uttered over and over again with the utmost sincerity and belief.

Not only does Carmen have the orphanage to worry about but she has also started a community based program through her church, Templo Sion. Everyday, the doors open and close to two hundred local children file into the small room where they are led in song and prayer by one of the girls who has grown up at the orphanage. Then they receive a hot meal; the only one they will get that day. As we served the meal a "mucho gracias" and a big smile was served back at us. It costs Carmen over $100 a week to feed the local children. Some days the food is more plentiful than others. Since the government regulates but provides no funding for the orphanage and local lunch program, if one of the children is sick and requires medical care money is taken out of the food budget. This means no meat that day. But to the kids who attend Templo Sion it doesn't matter. It's the warmth that fills their bellies and the love that fills their souls which sustains them.

Back at the nursery I fall in love with K. "Oh Geez," I think. Another K. It is fitting as she buries her head into my shoulder and clings to me. If I try to put her down she grabs on tighter. She falls asleep in my arms her soft light brown hair falling over her long dark eyelashes. She fits perfectly in the crook of my arm; as though she was meant to be there. I feel like if the world stopped this minute that it couldn't get much sweeter than this. I think of all kinds of ways to sneak her across the border. Dave says NO! Meanwhile, Dave is playing with a little boy who keeps trying to steal his glasses. We hear his history and wonder how he has been able to trust the world again. But the answer is right there in front of us...the dedicated people at Casa Hogar Sion. People like Arleen who is the accoutant. She lived a high powered New York City life and gave it all up to live at the orphanage where she can feel the wind and see the outside from the inside of her room. And its the children who have grown up here and now stay to serve the Lord and the children who need them.

Not all of the 40 orphanages in Tijuana are like this. At the government run one there are no toys, no books. The children are not educated. They stay in the rooms all day except to eat. Which makes me wonder why the "lucky" ones end up at Casa Hogar Sion. Why do they get love when some children will never know what it is like to have someone smile at them or to encourage them to reach their fullest potential. How can this be that each child does not have the basics: water, food and love?

If you or your church want to help I urge you to send supply boxes or make a donation to the orphanage. Their website is:

http://www.casahogarsion.com/index.html

Tonight I will sleep in my nice warm house in my nice warm bed. And yet the eyes of the children continue to haunt me. And as I finish writing this the tears come yet again. So many children. So many hurts. So many needs.

A short montage:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=592b8ea3af74cda2e080d&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Classy ladies

I usually don't reprint from another source but I was so inspired by thee girls that I have done so in tribute to them. Way to go ladies!!!



YouNewsTV™Story Published: Apr 30, 2008 at 9:51 AM PDT

Story Updated: Apr 30, 2008 at 7:42 PM PDT
By Associated Press Video MONMOUTH, Ore. (AP) - A senior with a .153 career batting average hits her first home run, a three-run blast, to help Western Oregon move closer to a spot in the NCAA's Division II softball playoffs.

That was improbable. To 70-year-old Central Washington coach Gary Frederick, what happened next was "unbelievable."

Sara Tucholsky, the 5-foot-2-inch right fielder, sprinted to first as the ball cleared the center field fence Saturday in Ellensburg, Wash. Given that she had never hit a ball out of the park, even in practice, she was excited. So excited she missed first base.

A couple yards past the bag, she stopped to go back and touch it. But she collapsed with a knee injury.

"I was in a lot of pain," she told The Oregonian newspaper on Tuesday. "Our first-base coach was telling me I had to crawl back to first base. 'I can't touch you,' she said, 'or you'll be out. I can't help you."'

Despite the agony, Tucholsky crawled back to first.

Western Oregon coach Pam Knox ran onto the field and talked to the umpires. The umpires said the coach could place a substitute runner at first. Tucholsky would be credited with a single.

"The umpires said a player cannot be assisted by their team around the bases," Knox said. "But it is her only home run in four years. She is going to kill me if we sub and take it away. But at same time I was concerned for her. I didn't know what to do."

An opponent did.

Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the all-time home run leader in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference, asked the umpire if she and her teammates could carry Tucholsky around the bases.

The umpires said nothing in the rule book precluded help from the opposition.

Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace lifted Tucholsky and resumed the home-run walk, stopping to let Tucholsky touch the bases with her good leg.

"We started laughing when we touched second base," Holtman said. "I said, 'I wonder what this must look like to other people."'

Holtman got her answer when they arrived at home plate. Many people were in tears.

The second-inning homer sent Western Oregon on its way to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington's chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.

"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said. "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain and she deserved a home run."

Frederick, the Central Washington coach, said he later got a clarification from an umpiring supervisor, who said NCAA rules allow a substitute to run for a player who is injured after a home run.

The clarification doesn't matter to those who witnessed the act of sportsmanship.

"Those girls did something awesome to help me get my first home run," Tucholsky said. "It makes you look at athletes in a different way. It is not always all about winning but rather helping someone in a situation like that."

(Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Little Ensteins

Its about time that adults acknowledge the fact that children are the true inventors of the world. And better yet, they do their inventing for free. No wages, social security, no workers comp, no nothin'. They just do their thing and all hell breaks loose. For instance, Kullen's concoctions all the super glues to shame. For some reason he will not mix his food on his plate but somehow his food all comes together in the chair groves and is impossible to get out. You can't chip it, you can't burn it,and you can't wash it. It stays stuck to the chair better than any super glue ever made.

Quote

One of my favorite quotes:

"Alice laughed. 'There’s no use trying,' she said. 'One can’t believe impossible things.' 'I daresay you haven’t had much practice.' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.' ” Lewis Caroll, Alice In Wonderland

A Tad Bitter Are We...You Bet!!!

So Dave is getting ready to go away on another business trip. I hate it when Dave makes it "sound" like business trips are a big inconvience and he wants to be home with us. Yet, while he is gone he rarely calls. It just doesn't add up...ya know! So while he is sitting there complaining about his time away from home I am thinking...yeah, right, give me a frickin' break!!! Wah, wah, wah!!!

Like who doesn't like fresh sheets daily, their room magically cleaned when they step outside the door, a choice of foods for every meal of the day that I don't even know how to pronounce much less cook, getting to watch whatever YOU want on TV, those little bottles of soaps and creams that smell so yummy, renting a sportscar in an attempt to relive those magical yet desperate days B.C., shopping at someplace other than Target ALONE, fluffy impossibly white bathrobes, and lets not forget all the liquor you could want with the oh so tempting possibility of passing out on the bed and waking up with a hangover that is not the result of your kid screaming you awake at 5 a.m. in the morning. Oh and the eye candy down by the pool. PLEASE. Should my life only be that "rough."

Personally I think that Mommyhood needs its own frickin' conference once a week in order to keep up with all the news coming from science on how best to raise our children, seminars on how to make jello into a nutrious food and how to keep your sex life glowing when you have had little hands touching just about every part of your body 5000 times a day for the last three years, or how about instructions on set broken bones in your own home so that those pesky doctors bills can be avoided. Yep I want my own little conference to attend. I promise I will look dismal at the thought of going off on my own but I'm afraid that when I burn rubber after the requisite hugs and kisses; it might just be a dead giveaway as to my true feelings.